Top Ten Things I've Learned From 3 Days of Fatherhood

I'm not sure anyone can appreciate this except perhaps someone who is going through it.

10. Newborns can be stronger and inherently smarter than you give them credit for.
9. There is personality there right from the start.
8. Your brain conspires with the baby against your body from the start. Falling asleep? You hear his cry, even if he isn't crying.
7. It is possible to fart and burp multiple times simultaneously.
6. A good poop can be as exciting as an 99 yard touchdown pass.
5. Oddly, your own baby's gas smells sweet after the first few.
4. Just when you think you've got the little bugger figured out, he changes things up on you.
3. Early parenthood is like boot camp, and baby is your drill sergeant.
2. Poo on your fingers becomes less repulsive than it normally would be.
1. You can never prepare for how much that first one is going to change you and your life, no matter how much you know before hand.

Welcome My Little Co-Blogger

We shall call him Jiblette. His was a peaceful gestation, but his journey into this world was a long and painful one for his mom. He officially joined Jiblog at 6:54 on July 5th.

A Short History of Chippewa Falls Baseball

I know that this article is going to have a niche audience, but given the fact that Chippewa Falls was a small, post lumber mill town at the time, I found this little nugget amazing:

Now referred to as “Captain,” Porter returned to Chippewa Falls as a player-manager in 1902, and within a few years was fielding one of the top independent teams in the Midwest.

Led by African-American pitcher George Wilson, regarded to be one of the best pitchers in the country, the Chippewa Gotzians were crowned the 1904 Northwestern Champions. The deciding game was a 10-2 defeat of Renville, Minn. at Lexington Park in St. Paul that saw Wilson strikeout 17 batters.

Not too bad for a small lumber town in Northwestern Wisconsin in 1902.

Practice Makes Perfect?

I wonder how many clippings and print offs of this article made it onto refrigerators around the world today?

Having sex every day improves sperm quality and could boost the chances of getting pregnant, research suggests.

In a study of men with fertility problems, daily ejaculation for a week cut the amount of DNA damage seen in sperm samples.

Of course, I suspect many woman will recommend self medication to their men.

Brazil Calls Off Search For AF 447 Victims

Sad.

Brazil's Air Force and Navy on Friday called off the search for additional victims and wreckage from Air France Flight 447, which crashed over the Atlantic on June 1 carrying 228 people.

I'm a simple man with what I think is a realistic view of death. As such, if I were to be buried in a cardboard box with a wood cross bearing my name, I'm cool with that. After all, what will I care at that point? But I realize that my absence would be felt in some peoples' lives, and I do want that postage stamp of land where they can find some peace. Every time I fly over the Great Lakes, I shudder at the thought that I could end up at the bottom of one of them, never allowing my loved ones that little bit of peace of mind. There are a lot of loved ones of Air France Flight 447 victims who will never have that place to mourn over their loved one.

The H1N1 Solution

Okay, so the CDC says that the H1N1 swine flu isn't going away. Yet we also know that, as currently constituted, it is virulent but not a particularly deadly flu. So I say we pucker up and take our medicine, chicken pox style. Everyone who doesn't have it right now has to go to a birthday party for someone who does have it. Spin the bottle will be encouraged. This way, the 299 million Americans who haven't gotten it will come down with it and build up immunities before the virus starts to change itself. Also, we'll save billions on vaccinations. Kiss a Swine Flu victim today!

And So The Seventies Begin to Die

This week, three household names from the 1970's died in a two day period: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. It was a stunning death triumvirate of the most well known from that ugliest of decades. For many of us who pontificate in the electronic realm, the seventies don't seem all that long ago; then again, most of us also ignore those rapidly reproducing gray hairs. The fact is the seventies is getting to be "a long time ago," and this week was a pretty sobering reminder for those of us who got our start in that decade that we aren't getting any younger.

If You Snicker At Subway, Then Give BK A Break

Lots of idle chit chat in the blogosphere about Burger King's ad for their new "Super Seven Incher." The opinions are running largely against Burger King's overt oral sex reference. If crassness was truly the measuring stick, then I say, hey, give 'em hell. But most people I know snicker at Subway's "Five Dollar Footlong" promotion. Everyone knows the connotations made by Subway's commercials (ever see the commercial where the construction workers hold their hands about a foot apart in front of their groins?), yet nobody gives Subway hell for it. Why? Because most people are self congratulatory when they get a subtle connotation, but feel free to preach at the obvious. When everyone starts taking aim at Subway, then I'll over look the rage aimed at Burger King. Until then, shaddup.

Obama Gives Fatherhood Advice

Read about it if you'd like. It isn't bad advice per se. Just the same, I don't think men out there should consider any politician a fatherhood role model. The sacrifices that must be made to attain great power always affect the family.

Jiblog Turned 5...5 Days Ago

Oops. Hopefully this is an indicator that my priorities are in the right place and not just a sign that I'm getting forgetful.

The Sex Scandal That Mildly Shook Milwaukee

So, this broke yesterday.

I've thought long & hard about it, and I guess I ultimately don't have much to say. I've no interest in defending either Flynn or McBride in any way, shape, or form. I've also no interest in raking Bice over the coals for his scandal sheet piece. The fact is, Flynn is a public official and McBride has made herself a public person. News coverage of their actions come with the territory, for good or for bad.

It is most unfortunate for the friends and families of these two that they must deal with not only the pain this has caused, but the very public dissection of it. My empathy is with them.

Any comment on my part beyond the issues above and possibly the status of their jobs would be little more than gossip mongering, something else I have little interest in partaking in given the difficulty this already presents to a lot of people who did nothing wrong.

Define 'Proof'

Tom McMahon claims to have photographic proof that Michael Leon peed on the grave of Joseph McCarthy in violation of Appleton, Wisconsin ordinances. Unfortunately, like Mr. Leon, I'm afraid Mr. McMahon's evidence falls short. First, there is no way of telling from the photo if there is a urine stream. Second, it would appear that Mr. Leon is not a big man as we have no evidence of his unit actually being public. If the evidence can't measure up to reasonable doubt about it's true existence, it is tough to convict. And that should be of greater embarrassment to Mr. Leon than an actual record for doing this.

Palin Ain't the Future of Conservatism

While I'm on the topic, I'd like to address the ongoing adoration in some circles for Sarah Palin. I like Sarah Palin, and I think that politically, she was the best that the DOA McCain campaign could hope for. She could not carry the ticket for him, though, and she is not the future of conservatism. She is a excellent voice to have as part of the leadership, but she isn't a realistic candidate for the presidency. The public gave her type a chance in 2000 and 2004. They aren't going to give that type of candidate a chance again for a while.

By all means, be supportive of Governor Palin. But if you are excited about Palin's prospects in 2012, you really are wasting your time. The ass kicking that the right has faced will continue unabated unless we all take a good, hard look at reality, and reality does not include Palin as a viable presidential candidate.

Time to Concentrate the Fire Power

I have a word of advice for some of my fellow conservatives. It will no doubt go unheeded, but what the hell.

Stop firing your bullets at useless targets like David Letterman.

You aren't the majority anymore. In fact, you're getting your asses kicked. We don't have the luxury of fighting these stupid battles. Concentrate your fire on the men and women that you can beat in Washington and your state capitals. There is ample material there. Focusing instead on David Letterman and his ilk only makes your cause look asinine to those who vote but don't follow the issues all that closely. In other words, the people that unfortunately decide a lot of elections.

May The Good Lord Help Us

My wife and I are watching Joe Buck Live and the intro to the Favre interview. I commented that he was the Paris Hilton of the NFL. The lovely Mrs. Jib said that the sex tape won't come out until nobody wants the media whore anymore.

May the Good Lord help us.

Odd Journalistic Paragraphs

This inaugural edition of "Odd Journalistic Paragraphs" comes from the Telegraph:

But Mr Kildee, who has lived there nearly all his life, said he had first to overcome a deeply ingrained American cultural mindset that "big is good" and that cities should sprawl – Flint covers 34 square miles.

By London or Manhattan standards, maybe. 34 square miles, for a town of once over 200,000 people, is not that large. That's a town that, if perfectly square, would be less than 6 miles from one end to the other.

A Quick Thought

When looking at companies to buy, only a government buys the crappy ones.

Only In Madison, Wisconsin

So, the city of Madison is thinking about how it is going to grow and develop over the years. They've already told developers that the city can't grow towards the sky because it might block the pretty view of the capitol. Now they're telling them they can't grow outward, either, because they don't want people driving.

The suburbs must be loving their neurotic urban neighbor.

Arab World Lectures Obama About Lecturing

Heh.

"Obama is just a prettier face. I'm sure his intentions are in the right place but I don't expect much from the man," a Cairo electrician said on Wednesday as US President Barack Obama began his much-anticipated Middle East trip.

Newspapers, analysts and ordinary Arabs warned Obama -- whose election was hailed across the region -- against emulating the policies of Bush by lecturing Muslims on democracy, and also urged him to be tough with Israel.

Democrat Presidents have this obsession with feelings for some reason, and all of them have to come to the hard realization that the only way this part of the world is going to send America glad tidings is if we do their bidding for them. Their naivete is touching, but hopefully this president learns quickly that doing so would be an odious and futile effort.

Conan is Outstanding!

He has a new skit on the Tonight Show called the Twitter Tracker. It is like taking "If They Made It" and translating it to the fad of the day. It's Miley! "Don't Crap On the Ap."

Quick Question

How do people blog, tweet, Facebook, and participate in other various social media like Myspace (spit) and Flickr while still maintaining a real life?

How Do You View Spending?

After work tonight, I stopped at a local watering hole to meet my former co-blogger Col. Ollie. While I waited for him with an ice cold Leinie's Honey Weiss in front of me, a corporate event of some sort came in. A well dressed older gentleman bellied up to the bar, tossed down a credit card, and said, "I'm opening a tab, and it is going to be a big one." As I watched on as the bar filled up, I figured I had two ways of looking at the situation:

1. I could think, "What a waste of damn money. How much better off would corporate America be if they weren't running up tabs like these to essentially buy a party for people? Heads should roll for this excess in these times." (I suspect that 80% of the public would fall in line with some variation of this critique).

2. I could think, "Wow, it is quite the crowd in here tonight. I know the owner, and I'm glad he's getting this boost in business. And I see that he's tossing a few free appetizers their way. I hope these people come back, because this is a net good for the community. If it buys the company some goodwill with these individuals they are trying to woo, good for them, too."

I chose the second, but I think that I'm uncommon in that regard. Too many people right now are quick to judge the spenders without considering how essential this type of spending is to both the establishments receiving the sales and the businesses trying to make their own sales, as well as the employees at both. And that kind of judging will only stand to slow the pace at which we try to get back to some sort of economic normalcy.

The Althouse Fallacy

At least, that's what I'm naming this statement:

When a white man gets onto the Supreme Court, it's because of his legal credentials, because he got no points for diversity, but when a woman or a member of a minority group makes it onto the Court, she (or he) will be forever marginalized as an embodiment of the quality or qualities that clinched the appointment, even though excellent legal credentials were required for her to make it into the pool of finalists. Don't you see how unfair this marginalization is?

What makes it a fallacy, you say? Well, there is no reason to marginalize a woman or a minority when they are considered amongst a diverse group of the finest legal minds around, regardless of gender, race, or creed. However, when a President chooses to only consider one demographic for his nomination, it is perfectly fair to wonder if that person was the best of the best, or merely the best of the best of a very small select sliver of the available options. Unfortunately, racial and gender politicization have thrived on misconceptions like those of Ms. Althouse.

Why does the universe exist at all?

That headline is part of what Stephen Hawking wants to understand in his scientific efforts.

Until science has discovered and proven the answer to that question, it cannot say that it has either proven or disproven anything about religion.

Q: How Bad is Republican Leadership?

A: A former Vice President who should be enjoying retirement and a talk radio show host are forced to lead the opposition against the majority Democrats. Both are quite capable in their roles, but neither should have to be leading the charge. Pathetic.

Dems Lay Down Cover Fire for Obama

Guess what? President Obama was wrong about Guantanamo Bay. Not that it mattered-he got to milk the issue for all it was popularly worth during the election. But the Democrats are coordinated right now, and congress is laying down covering fire for him. In what is being portrayed as a setback for the President, congressional Dems are refusing to authorize the funds to shut down the detention facility at Gitmo. It is not a setback at all. It is clear that Gitmo must continue to operate, but Obama cannot leave himself vulnerable in 2012 to charges that he reneged on one of his most popular campaign promises. So congressional Dems play the part of sober and responsible leaders, co-opt the Republican position on the matter, and deliver "setback" that is nothing of the sort.

The way Republicans are being politically out maneuvered right now is stunning.

Disappoinment

I am very dispirited with the right at the current time. There are lots of reasons for it, but a number of those reasons come back to the leadership. The Republican party needs to start building a narrative around President Obama. A lot of people out there are bothered, disturbed, or angered by at least one decision he's made. These things need to be jumped on, they need to be repeated, and they need to be tied back to his campaign to show what false promise he sold the American people. I'm not seeing very damn much of that. Until it happens, the right is going to continue to get trounced, and the right will remain powerless against everything we revile about Obama's far leftism.

With New CAFE, Time to Invest in Horse Power

So, with the Obama nanny state requiring CAFE standards that exceed the current and near future technological/performance capabilities, what does this mean for those of you who own a boat, or a trailer, or any other heavy item commonly towed behind a vehicle? What does it mean to you small contractors whose livelihood depends on that powerful, low gas mileage vehicle? I'll tell you what it means. It means you'd better look at investing in a team of horses to move your gear. Don't forget to thank your President for the Hope he's given you.

Noah: Out of Power Republicans Bigger Babies than Dems

This is amusing:

As a Democrat and longtime resident of Washington, D.C., I've always found the capital more congenial when my party was out of power. Partly that's because I make my living as a journalist. Republican presidents tend to create a more target-rich environment, not just for liberals but (I think) for everybody. Mostly, though, it's because Republicans out of power go out of their way to make life unpleasant for the rest of us. When Democrats lose, they're pathetic. When Republicans lose, they're bitter and mean.

Heh. I clearly made some poor choices in life by trying to make good choices. Had I chosen to be vapid and ignorant, I too could've landed a gig writing for Slate. Mr. Noah is clearly blocking out how big of babies his side (and he himself) were during the 8 years of the Bush administration.

The Photo that Made New York Soil Itself

I really, really hope that this is one of the throw-aways from the administration's photo shoot of Air Force One. Because if this is one of the "good shots," then they are going to need to do some serious Photoshopping on it. And if they are going to need to do a lot of manipulating, then they may as well have taken the photo someplace else rather than keeping New Yorkers in the dark and scaring the living bejeebers out of them.

Because this photo sucks.

Will Griffey Jr. Skate Past the Scandal of His Era?

He just might, and part of the reason is that people really, really want to believe that he's innocent.

Yet that would be a clichéd reaction, naive to the fact that in a game tainted by lies atop lies, Junior is bidding farewell as an honest-to-goodness ambassador; as a man who -- Please, dear God, let this be true. Please -- became a legend without the assistance of a needle or an under-the-radar bag of pills and creams.

All I have to say is this: Don't get your hopes up. Anecdotal evidence leans against Griffey being clean. First, look at that guy early in his career. He was a very lean ball player who thickened up considerably as his power numbers grew. Still, we could look at his father and say that was natural growth. But then look at the types of injuries that held him back during his years in Cincinnati. They were the pulled/torn muscle type of injuries that can inflict a person that becomes to strong for his skeletal structure-the types of injuries than afflict steroid users.

Until there is evidence otherwise, we have to assume that Grif is clean. But don't let that assumption make an ass out of you.

An Early Post-Mortem on the Mexican Swine Flu

I've done quite a bit of reading on the recent swine flu, and I've come to some educated but unscientific conclusions. I share them with you because I think they run counter to the general coverage right now but I also think they are accurate.

First, the way this story evolved, this particular flu strain looked terrifying. We were getting reports of deaths from Mexico that were growing at a high rate to the number of confirmed cases that were being reported. It has seemed terrifying at times. Almost too terrifying to be believable. The death rate appeared to be incredibly high compared to even the 1918 influenza. But what we were probably seeing was an anomaly in the data collection. This flu has probably been spreading for over a month, possibly well over a month, but it wasn't being identified as anything other than a typical flu virus.

At some point, deaths in Mexico lead to the actual virus being identified. The new and unique nature of the virus led to a natural alarm, and attention immediately went to the cases where death occurred. Because of that increased attention to the cases where flu deaths occurred, those numbers began to rise at a faster rate than reported cases where recovery happened. As the focus shifted to containment because of the fear generated by the increases in deaths, we naturally began identifying more and more cases of this flu. Most of these cases appeared to be serious, so as this number has expanded, it has seemed to confirm suspicions that we were facing a deadly pandemic. But that may have neglected another part of this picture, and that is that many, many more people have probably been infected but the infection has been so mild that they A) Never sought treatment, B) May not have even thought it was the flu, perhaps even confusing their symptoms for that of a bad cold, and C) May have even been asymptomatic.

Two important pieces of information have appeared in the past couple of days, and as the tidal wave of this story has rolled on, I think they have been under reported. The first is reports that the confirmed death toll in Mexico may actually be lower than what we've been hearing. The second is reports from the scientific field that this virus appears to be no more deadly than the typical seasonal flu virus. If true, both of these pieces of data would indicate this panic was created by data collection that started with the most serious instance, cases that resulted in death, and worked backwards to the least serious, which would be cases so mild as to go unreported.

In all likelihood, this flu virus will be out of the news loop in two weeks. Many of us will be asking the question "how the hell did this virus become a panic," and I think it is going to be some variation of the above.

One other thing on the news coverage of this. I've been seeing more and more reporting that holds up the example of the 1918 flu that started mild in the spring and became deadly that fall as what we have to look forward to. This is lazy, fear mongering journalism that relies on the false belief that history repeats itself exactly. Could this flu come back more deadly in the fall? Perhaps, but it will likely be worked into next winter's flu shots. Unless it makes a radical genetic change, that vaccine will likely go a long way to tempering any increase in lethality. And remember, in 1918, we did not have the benefit of a vaccination routine. Additionally, the 'history repeats itself' model is incredibly irresponsible as the likelihood that this virus would follow the exact route of the 1918 virus is more remote than you buying a Powerball ticket and winning this weekend.

So, long story short, you can probably direct your worries in other directions. This flu is going to be looked back upon as much ado about nothing.

Absurdity Reaches New Levels

Yeah, ya know that ugly recession that's restricting our spending power? It's making y'all fat:

The recession that is shrinking workers' paychecks may also be expanding their waistlines, a survey showed on Wednesday.

One in 10 U.S. workers said they are snacking more during the day due to concerns over the economic situation, and nearly half complained of gaining weight in their jobs, according to a survey by CareerBuilder.com, an online jobs site.

It said 43 percent of employees surveyed reported they have gained weight while in their present jobs. A quarter said they gained more than 10 pounds and a sixth gained more than 20 pounds.

C'mon now. This defies all logic. If this survey is at all accurate, then this is the first time in history that dire economic straits has led to increased obesity. And if that's the case, then we really aren't in that dire of economic straits.

Having a Child in Uncertain Times

I think having your first child is nerve wracking for any responsible father-to-be, but when was the last time it was this nerve wracking? The economic sky is falling and there is a flu nobody can predict erupting all around us. As a soon-to-be-dad, there is this giant protective bubble I want to put over my family, but there are so many things that I can't control for. It's maddening.

Choking the Golden Goose

Oh my.

The United Auto Workers union’s retiree health-care fund will own 55 percent of Chrysler LLC in exchange for cutting in half the automaker’s $10.6 billion cash obligation to the trust, people familiar with the matter said.

Under the terms of the contract, the trust would get representation on the company’s board of directors, said two people briefed on the deal, who asked not to be named because the matter is private.

One of two things will result from this. The 'new' Chrysler will be bled dry, or a certain union is going to get an up close and personal look at how unrealistic their demands on business are. I'm putting a larger wager on the former.

Pandemic Thought

We are currently in a situation where we have a flu virus that is rapidly spreading through the population and we have no clue what so ever about how serious the illness is. Is it a very deadly strain, as the initial Mexico evidence would indicate, or is that Mexican evidence somehow bad, giving us a skewed view of the lethality of this virus? Either way, we don't know, so shouldn't we be looking at taking some common sense precautions like shutting down sporting events and closing schools en masse while we figure it out? Because once we figure it out, it is going to be too late to do anything.

Or are we already past the point where any of that matters?