10 compliments to wow an older man

Okay, before I get going on this post, read the one below this to get the context. My number 11 to their list is number 1 on this list.

Back? Good. Their crummy list inspired me to come up with my own list for the guy over 30. Enjoy.

1. You've distributed that extra weight nicely. Hey, we all get older, and most of us pick up some extra weight. Telling us we look like a Greek Adonis when we aren't is only going to make us laugh.

2. Wow, honey. The kids don't hate you. A good parent is going to have a certain amount of conflict with their kids over the years. If the kids think you are a buddy, you are guaranteed trouble. If they truly hate you, you are guaranteed trouble. But if they merely don't hate you, you just might be on the right track to good fatherdom.

3. Snort, snort, snort, I'm gonna pee! Older guys are still dumb, but we are a little bit wiser than the young guys. Telling us we're funny doesn't cut it, nor does the fake laugh. But snotting and peeing yourself does.

4. Thanks for remembering the bread. Look ladies, we're guys. Our heads get filled up in our youths with things like Paul Molitor's on base percentage in 1987 (it was .438, if you were wondering). If Barbies came with statistic filled trading cards, you'd understand. Sometimes there ain't enough room in the brain to remember the bread, especially if we accidentally killed off some of the good brain cells in our drinking days. To you, it may be appreciating the mundane. To us, it is an accomplishment.

5. Your back looks sore. Can I get you a beer? Many of us guys may grumble about shoveling and mowing, but we really don't mind doing it, even if it makes our aging back feel like a creaky old bridge. We don't need to be thanked because we realize that you may do more chores to our fewer, more difficult ones. But we sure do appreciate you appreciating us by getting our weary old bones that beer.

6. Let's go to XYZ restaurant. This one is for the married couples out there. When a guy says he doesn't care where you go for dinner or what you want to do on Saturday night, he's saying he just wants to do something you'll enjoy, even if he might want to retain a veto. Your decisiveness says, "thanks for putting me first." Or he could just mean that he doesn't care. Either way, decisiveness, ladies!

7. Nothing. There are times when no compliment is the best compliment. For example, once those nose/ear/back hairs get trimmed, guys don't want to think about 'em until it is time to trim again. As nice as, "wow, your back is smooth without all that hair" is meant to be, silence will truly wow him. This is especially true in social settings.

8. I checked my oil today. A guy wants you ladies to do simple preventative maintenance on your car for one reason-it is easier and cheaper for him to get your oil changed than it is to replace your engine, and face it, you will probably task him with getting the repairs done. When you don't, you're just taking him for granted. When you do, he can take that extra time for your tune up.

9. You still run faster than the other guys your age. We know we're slowing down, ladies. We are envious of the 22 year olds out on the diamond or court that have stolen away our mantle of beer league jock studs with their hideous youth. Telling us that it looks like we've got an anchor tied around our neck is just telling us what we already know. But we still want to be better than the other old dudes, if only to impress you.

10. The house looks great! If he cleaned the house, you can offer him tips on how to do certain things. If you criticize the job he did, he'll never do it again. If you compliment him and maybe reward him, he just might do it again-and better. Don't forget, we may be old dogs, but we're still puppies inside. Swat us with the newspaper and we're going to stop doing what we did. Say good job, give us a treat, and scratch our bellies and we will look to please you with that trick again and again.