Thursday, November 04, 2010

He was seen at BK with Elvis and Tupac...

...in 3, 2, 1...

JibE2

I've decided that our personal economics aren't getting better fast enough, so I've decided to print off additional pay checks, and I'm going to use that money to buy off some of our debt. I don't see anyone having a problem with that, do you?

Disclaimer: Jib and his family will not actually be printing off additional paychecks. That would be stupid. Kind of like printing a bunch of money would be.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

A Horror Story, as Told by the Left

Okay, I have more friends from across the political aisle than your average political person. A lot more. And I've tried to be empathetic and to pull them back from their personal ledges, but it is getting absurd to the point of hilarity. Based on the things I've heard, here is a collective snapshot of how Democrats view the world this morning:

Sometime in the last 6 months, the simpleton, sheep American voter was infected with a form of crazy that gestated yesterday. These drones, even more mindless than they were before, who just 2 years ago were Einsteins, each of them, voted for Republicans. They may have eaten some babies and kicked some puppies along the way because they are uncaring beasts. Anyway, they gave one chamber of congress back to Republicans, and tipped power in some states, which is further proof that they can't be trusted to look after their own interests and need Democrats in power to do that for them.

In some places, the sun actually did not rise this morning for the first time in human history as the drones roamed the hillsides, hungry for the sweet-meated hearts of Democrats. The next two years portend much misery. Women will be reverted to the 19th century, their vote taken away while they are confined to home to make babies and cook. The very large national gay community will be rounded up and placed on deserted islands to live or die. And if you are racial minority, woe is you. Because they all hate you and see no redeemable qualities in you.

The economy will collapse for all but the richest one percent of us or those who make over $100,000 (whichever, the selfish bastards). While everyone else is forced to fight for scraps to eat and are over taken by plagues, the richest one percent or those who make over $100,000 (whichever, the selfish bastards) will get even richer in a closed economy purged of the other 99% or those who make under $100,000. Some may actually leave the country, unlike the other times they've said that, because the utopias of Canada and Mexico are the only safe havens left.

The only hope is that in 2 years, the one and his disciples will rise again as the crazy starts to wear off from the drones. Then the world will be redeemed from the 6 or 7 hate filled old white men who have wreaked such devastation on us all.

The left in this country sure can be melodramatic and apoplectic. If we collected the vision of all them, it would make for one hell of a horror story.

Random Election Thoughts

* The euphoria over the electoral sea change needs to be short lived because the current balance in Washington might be a formula for disaster. Already the word "gridlock" is being tossed around. The Republicans can win with some targeted, meaningful gridlock. But general gridlock plays right into the hands of the Democrat marketing machine, and they know it.

* I know this won't please many people, but this isn't the 2 year election cycle for ideological purity, I'm afraid. If things aren't better in two years, 2012 could be a blood bath. Republicans must be able to show that they accomplished some important things.

* Stow away there word "mandate." This isn't one. It was more like a repudiation.

* There is no way government healthcare gets overturned. The numbers aren't there for it. Voters gave Republicans one bullet by giving them the House. Battles that can be won will reside largely in the budget.

* As for Wisconsin, Governor Doyle pulled the ultimate screw job on the state with his secret deal with the Feds to get the kind-of-but-not-really high speed train contracts signed. Scott Walker and Republicans may have to bog the entire project down in environmental studies and red tape in order to kill it.

* If there isn't concealed carry and voter ID in 2 years, then I may vote to toss the bums out. At the state level, it is time for Republicans to get some things done.

Congrats to my Conservative Friends

Kudos to all of you, and I hope you heartily enjoy tonight. I'll be the first to admit that I've basically sat out the past 2 years, so I consider this victory yours, but it still was fun to watch. Let's do ourselves a favor, though. The gloating ends quickly. The voters did not vindicate the ideas of the right. They rejected those of the left. The right, even though disadvantaged still, must ensure that the current mess gets cleaned up in 2 years. 2 YEARS. This is not the time for games, or we'll watch 1996 replay itself, I guarantee it.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Lessons in Losing

Okay, I've wanted to write this post in the past, but I've been holding it because it seems more significant to say these things in victory. Tonight, I write this to my Democrat friends (and some who don't particularly like me that much). But to my Republican friends, I recommend you read this, because it is advice that may be significant as soon as the next election cycle.

1) The other party isn't your mortal enemy. Seriously. Many of you caricature them in horrible ways, though. But remember, neither party is interested in driving the nation off a cliff, no matter what you think. The other side just thinks it has a much better path to a mostly common goal.

2) You shouldn't treat politics as a team sport. If you want to talk poop with rivals, maybe you should invest yourself in sports a little more. For all of its flaws, politics is more serious than sport. But that doesn't mean that you hate the other side the way Packers and Bears fans might hate each other.

3) Your side ain't all that, believe it or not. It is just as flawed as the other side, and it is wrong just as often as the other side. Some humility is in order when the American public rejects you for being wrong.

4) Pissing and moaning about the voters isn't constructive. They aren't dumb, and they aren't "re-tarded". They aren't always right, but they often move together for very specific reasons. Some reflection might be in order.

5) If you are fully invested in your party's propaganda, you should probably give up politics for a while. There is no sacred constituency a given politician won't screw if it means re-election. No, not even yours.

6) Mandates are over rated. So is political capital. When either legitimately occurs, their existence is fleeting. When it comes time to vote, it will always come down to "am I (or are we) better off now than we were last time we did this." Your elected official's job, regardless of party, is to make sure you say yes.

7) All those "unpopular" things elected officials do? Yeah, they do them because of #6. They legitimately think they are doing what will make you feel better off come the next election. Sometimes instead of blaming the politician, we should be blaming ourselves a little more.

8) I know many people segregate themselves socially based on party affiliation/political beliefs. You really shouldn't, because you are all missing out on a lot of terrific people.

9) Don't waste your breath/ink/pixels saying that you are going to leave (location x) or move to (location y). It shows a lack of fortitude. The next power shift is as soon as two years away. Spend your energies there if you believe so strongly.

10) If you think your political opponents are stupid, you are wrong and you should probably invest some effort in getting to know why, or you'll start finding yourself on the losing end quite often.

When You Vote Today...

...Capper wants you to know that bad policy is fine as long as it is done by a Democrat.

These are WI Democrats. They Think WI College Students are Dumb

This campaign piece paid for by the Wisconsin Democrat party was distributed on the University of Wisconsin Whitewater campus. It may meet a friendly audience on a campus, but if I had received it in the days when I was both a Democrat and a college student, I'd have been pretty peeved at the condescending tone of it. By the way, I'm told that this item violated campus policy in some way.

The Tone Deafness of Democrats Epitomized

Well done, Dems. In one final push towards electoral obliteration, you antagonized anyone not in Milwaukee, Waukesha, Jefferson, or Dane County.

Just days before an election that could decide the fate of a planned high-speed rail line, state and federal administrators quietly signed a deal to commit the state to spending all $810 million of the federal stimulus cash allocated to the Milwaukee-to-Madison route, transportation officials confirmed Monday.

The unannounced weekend agreement frees outgoing Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle's administration to sign contracts for much if not all of the work. That could hamstring efforts by Milwaukee County Executive Scott Walker and his fellow Republicans to kill the project and spend the money on something else if they take control of the governor's office and either or both chambers of the state Legislature and Congress on Tuesday.

You just lost any hope you had outstate, Democrats. Well done.

Monday, November 01, 2010

When you go to vote tomorrow...

...just remember that your current government is well on the way to stagflating us to prosperity!

Good Job, Ron

Going into this election, I was very, very concerned. I saw the weaknesses Democrats had, and I knew that Republicans ABSOLUTELY HAD to beat Russ Feingold this cycle. If they couldn't do it, he was likely going to own that seat until he chose to give it up. Given that, I hitched my wagon onto Dick Leinenkugel early on. Despite his shaky credentials, I had decided that it was better to elect a RINO that could be replaced later than to allow Feingold to entrench his ownership of that seat. And I didn't see anyone else who I thought could get the job done.

Ron Johnson is well on his way to getting the job done, and you can count the Jib of last February very surprised. Few people outside of his local business environment knew who the guy was, and we'd already seen that act in Tim Michels. But Johnson has capitalized on the political environment and run a solid, if not overly spectacular, campaign. I didn't think he could do it, and I was wrong. We won't know if he got the job done until 24 hours-plus from now. But I will admit, he was the best candidate to kick Feingold out on his ass.

If I were Milwaukee...

...Or Kenosha, or Racine, or Sheboygan, or Green Bay, I'd start making myself damn attractive to outsiders. As water limitations start to choke the big cities of the southwest and the southeast, areas around the Great Lakes are going to become very, very attractive to people.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Obama is Everything Leftists Wish Clinton Would Have Been

Seriously, think about it. Clinton was the first 'black' (but not black) President. Obama - actually black (at least as we identify it in the United States). Clinton wanted to open the Military to gays, but backed off in the face of public opinion. Under Obama, the courts blow away Clinton's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' compromise (which was silly anyway). Clinton tries for a first term signature with Hillary Care, and backs off in the face of massive unpopularity. Obama says, "You're going to get it, and you'll like it," and forces it through with massive Democrat majorities in Congress. At midterm of term one, Clinton loses majorities in congress. Obama is poised to lose even larger majorities.

Given all of this, I think we can safely say that Obama will seal the deal with an intern and not only be impeached but tossed out of office in his second term ;-).

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Today's Crazy Thought

The rumor coming from Obama circles is that he may drop Biden for Hillary Clinton in 2012. That seems too easy, too clean in my mind. Conventional wisdom is that Hillary is still interested in running for president in 2016. I'll bet a dollar that the Clintons' are eying up a potential run at Obama in 2012 if his numbers continue to tank and that's why the Obama camp is floating a VP spot at this bizarre time.

NFL Prediction

If it starts to look as though the NFL will suspend Brett Favre, he will suddenly have to miss a game because of his elbow problems.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Packers' Brass Confident In Team As Is

JNN, Green Bay - The Green Bay Packers, pre-season Super Bowl darlings, have traveled the first quarter of the road to the playoffs whilst dropping bodies off on the gritty, narrow shoulder.

Ryan Grant. Morgan Burnett. Nick Barnett. All carved up in plastic bags like a truck stop lizard.

Yet given the chance to start filling in gaps like the 1996 Packers did en route to the Super Bowl, the current Packers' brass is confident in their depth.

"I was just telling the team on Monday, 'Get your heads up, boys. We just beat one of the most pathetic teams in the history of the game. By the skin of our teeth. Thanks to one future Hall of Famer stepping up and single handedly saving our asses. Be proud. Yeah, we sucked. And part of our game plan was atrocious. But we could actually be better, and that's something to take pride in," said head coach Mike McCarthy.

When asked why his team has not taken the season by the horns and not covered glaring injury holes via trade, GM Ted Thompson was adamant that this team was still the team to beat.

"I am confident in this team. We believe in the guys on this roster or they wouldn't be hear. We lose Ryan Grant? We fully believe that the Easter Bunny will step in and pick up the slack. No Nick Barnett? Ernie is a hungry and angry inside backer, especially when we run our 'Burt' defensive package, and we are completely confident that his puppet like dedication to his coaching will fill the gap. We are a little worried about Charlie Peprah at safety, though. Peprah is a damn fictional character."

The coach and GM have the full confidence of the team President, Mark Murphy.

"Huh, what, there's a season going on? Wait, I thought we started the lock out already? Ziggy Wilf told me that we were going to break those bastard players that I helped make so rich in my playing days this season. That son of a ..."

But even if their season goes to hell in a hand basket, Packer Hall of Famer and Milwaukee area sports commentator Mark Chmura sees a silver lining in this year.

"No matter what happens, that turn coat, fair weather friend turned asshole Brett Favre is going to get his comeuppance in a purple uniform."


This article was satire. Don't like it? Take it up with older twin of Jenn Sterger, Deanna Favre.

Bicycling Law Breakers

I am honestly this close to keeping the iPhone camera on at all times in Madison so I can highlight how frequently those bicyclers that look down their nose at all of us mouth breathing car drivers break common traffic laws. I know and have observed some bicyclers that do obey traffic laws. They are the minority.

A Brett Favre Thought

Remember when the Ol' Gun Slinger effectively distanced himself from his old budddy ol' buddy ol' buddy ol' pal Mark Chmura? Some of us weren't so sure that number 4 had gone pure after an early career of juvenile off field behavior. Now that his pickle is out there...er, umm, that he's in quite a pickle, he ain't looking a whole lot better than his former buddy Chewy. Maybe the Packers knew what they were talking about when the asked him to think of his legacy and accept a $20 million marketing offer with the team.

I Made A Mistake Becoming a Conservative

Why? Because apparently Libertarians are the smart ones amongst us (God knows they pat themselves on their back enough for being such) because they've positioned themselves amongst us so they can never be wrong. Let me tell you where I'm coming from here. Long story short, I had the pleasure of doing a little catching on some blogs this week. I was reading one Libertarian blogger, and I learned that he really, really disliked Scott Walker because he just wasn't a pure enough conservative so as to appeal to a good Libertarian. But later, I learned that he really disliked Scott Walker because he wasn't pragmatic enough to get good, conservative things done. Too 'hard headed,' I guess. Well, I guess here in the real world, we either get to be pure in principal or effectively pragmatic. But in Libertarian world, you can always be a correct critic of everyone because you can't be either and still a Libertarian. Or at least a Libertarian that actually wins a political seat somewhere.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

It's Funny...

I find this idiot a hundred times more offensive than I find some school or team calling themselves "Indians" or "Blackhawks" or some other mundane, non-racist name.