Zoolander

I'm casually watching Zoolander for the first time, and I was struck by the fact that Larry Zoolander would have been a funnier character if played by Christopher Walken instead of Jon Voight. But nevertheless, we should all still thank Jon Voight for begetting the very strange but very attractive Angelina Jolie. Oh, and she's talented, too.

I'd be curious to see if Nehring the Edge would agree with me on the Walken as Larry Zoolander thought. (Nehring should add the Technorati "search this blog" feature in order to make his movie reviews easier to find).

Public Service Announcement: Kraft Squeezables

In hard hitting journalism that can only be found here at Jiblog, I have a public service announcement on the new Kraft squeezable bottles ("No Mess Top!"). Don't buy them. They are technically correct, they leave no mess on the bottle. But that's only because they leave a mess on your plate. The bottle requires some hefty squeezing, and when the substance leaves the bottle, it does so in a rough re-enactment of Mount St. Helens' eruption in the early 1980's. It is hilarious to watch someone else destroy their hot dog with a huge glob of mustard moving at mach 2. It is not so funny knowing that this bottle of mustard is going to last you roughly 2 years, and every time you use it you are going to ruin whatever delicacy you plan on devouring.

(This report was filed by Jiblog consumer reporter, Jib.)

Sunday at the State Fair

Okay, it looks like a Wisconsin blogosphere get together is sizing up nicely. In case you haven't read anywhere else, tomorrow at the Wisconsin State Fair there will be a little gathering for Wisconsin bloggers and blog readers. It will be at 1 pm at the Micro Brew tent. I'll be the guy in the gray & red Wisconsin baseball jersey if you are looking for us. It sounds like there will be plenty of people there, so stop on out if you can.

Novak needs a vacation

A long, long vacation. This is one of the more bizarre TV apearances I've seen. Novak snapped with minor provocation. I think it's time Bob took some time off.

All encompassing flu shot?

We can only hope.

Calling out the Journal Sentinel

A week or two ago, I complained about newspapers that require you to sign in EVERY TIME YOU VISIT THEIR SITE. Really, there are only two newspapers I visit that require this. One is the Eau Claire Leader-Telegram. The Leader-Telegram remembers my info, though, and all I need to do is click a couple of buttons. The Journal Sentinel, however, is requiring me to fill out info EVERY TIME I VISIT. Look, I respect papers having to collect info on visitors. The Journal Sentinel is really starting to piss me off, though. I allow cookies, guys. I allow them for my convenience, and that's good for you. But since you ask me to type in info every time I visit, I've cut back on the number of articles I read at your site because I find this terribly annoying. And the less I visit, the less likely it is I'm going to click on your ads. Now I know your sales pitches: "just because they aren't clicking on your ad, it doesn't mean the ad isn't working. They may Google your company name, or they may remember your ad from the site and call you at a later date. And the branding effect is imeasurable." You know what? It's all BS. You are screwing your advertising prospects by inconveniencing me. Quit it! Cookie me and be done with it!

McBride: Where are all the Republican-focused humor shows?

Jessica McBride asked the above question at her blog yesterday. The name that immediately came to mind? Dennis Miller. The problem is, Miller's shows have pretty much bombed. Part of that is because he hasn't exactly found himself a high profile network and time for a show, and part of the problem is his schtick goes way over the heads of a lot of people. Beyond that, there isn't much out there. Plenty of blogs on the right are humorous, but as for TV, it just hasn't been there for Republicans. Hey, maybe the newly apolitical Al Gore can develop one for his not-slanted Current TV.

Culture of Caution

This is a tough post to write because I am a big supporter of the United States having a strong, successful manned space program that safely brings its astronauts home safely after every mission. I am concerned that following Columbia, we've entered an era of CYA at NASA. Space travel is a high risk endeavor. If you go to Wikipedia and look at the entries for the Apollo missions, a lot of them had problems that were much, much more significant than the problems on the underside of this space shuttle. Those Apollo problems were not treated like they were the end of the world; instead, they were just taken care of without great fan fare (Apollo 13 excepted). My concern is that NASA has taken on a culture of caution which is leading to them acting in a way that covers their asses rather than a very determined "get it done" manner. People who cover their asses are risk averse. People who just get things done are willing to take risk on their shoulders and find a way to get things taken care of. Manned space travel will always be a high risk venture, and if we have risk averse ass coverers running the show, it isn't going to work very well.

Electrical bleg

Okay, I pretend to know everything, but once in a while I'm out of my realm. As I mentioned in this post a few months back, I lose a little control over my lower GI when I'm working with electricity. Despite that, I managed to wire up some landscape lighting a couple of months ago. This evening a line of thunderstorms moved through the area, and it got dark enough to kick on my new landscape lights. But every time lightening flashed, the landscape lights flickered. The wire for these lights is buried, but it is insulated wire. Additionally, this is the first time this has ever happened during a thunderstorm. Is this something I should be concerned about, or was this just the result of ground that was highly charged tonight? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

Apology for the confusion

This evening I made two posts which, unbeknownst to me, published as only the blog titles, minus the text that I wrote with them. One was "Jiblog Closed", in which I wrote that Jiblog was going to be closed for business until 10 PM CDT while Mrs. Jib and I watched Kathy Griffin on Bravo. The second was "Jiblog open for business," which I wrote after I received an email of confusion from one of my long time readers and political sparring partner, RPM.

Presidential vacations, part I

I say part I, but I may not mean it. I set out to research presidential vacations in order to show who has taken them, where, and how long, and I came across this great op-ed by Richard Miniter in August 2001. I'm not sure I'm going to try and top it with a part II yet. Some highlights:

Why don't reporters like the president's vacation? For one thing, they don't like Texas. And Mr. Bush is on to them. "I know a lot of you wish you were on the East Coast, lounging on the beach, sucking in salt air. But when you are from Texas -- and love Texas -- this is where you come home. This is my home. ... I don't mind the heat," Mr. Bush told the Los Angeles Times.
...
Part of the press's constant carping about presidential vacations is a function of lazy partisanship. Journalists recycle the same complaints about Republican presidents: Their vacations are too long, their elections are somehow illegitimate. (Remember the respectful attention the press gave the Gary Sick conspiracy theory about Mr. Reagan's purported "October surprise" and Donna Brazile's fevered accounts of crypto-racism in the Willie Horton ads in 1988?) And of course that old favorite that the GOP president is dumb and can't remember the names of world leaders or his own cabinet.

Yet presidents have been taking vacations since George Washington, who left Philadelphia for Mount Vernon twice a year for weeks on end during each of his eight years in office. Thomas Jefferson appreciated the importance of long vacations too. Writing to Lafayette in 1789, Jefferson stressed the importance of leaders wandering the countryside, preferably incognito, "to see first-hand how people live. You must ferret the people out of their hovels as I have done, look into their kettles, eat their bread, loll on their beds under the pretense of resting yourself, but in fact to find out if they are soft." Indeed Mr. Bush plans a series of short trips to visit ordinary Americans across the heartland.
...
The public seems to like presidential vacations, which usually bring on higher approval ratings. And when school's out in Washington, the stock market seems to do better too. Eighty-nine percent of stock market gains from 1897 to 1993 occurred during a congressional recess, according to a 1997 study by the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. (Who doesn't like it when the politicians vacate the asylum? ~ed)

As Miniter notes, it could be worse. Bush could follow Teddy Roosevelt's example and start shooting reporters' dogs. Now that would be justified outrage.

Coup in Mauritania

"Officials in neighboring Povichtania on high alert, cancel all paternity tests out of fear of further unrest"

If I have to explain it, it just ain't funny.

From sadness comes hope for Torres family

Susan Torres gave birth to a premature baby yesterday, and today her family said goodbye to Susan. It is a terrible sad story, and one that I would never want to live out myself. The Torres family has been given a wonderful little gift, though. The infant Susan Torres is a gift of life to a family mourning death, and as difficult as this all is, not many families get the opportunity to celebrate life in the midst of of an untimely death.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-list

I'm not much of an entertainment critic, so I am going to review Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D-list as conversationally as possible. But I need to start with a story. Back in the mid to late 1990's, I was on Michigan Avenue in Chicago one fall morning with a group of college classmates. We had a group paper to do on "Retailtainment," and Michigan Avenue was the center of our universe. We were gathered near the Tribune building to set our game plan for the day when I red head came walking quickly past us. Immediately we new we were in the presence of celebrity. The problem was, we didn't know which one. Kathy Lee Gifford was out-she was too famous, and we'd have recognized her. But this one, this one was tough. We all knew her, but who was she, and what did we know her from. The paper became secondary as we battled it out. "News Radio!" "No, Suddenly Susan!" "No, she's the one from that commercial. You know, ''til you die, yeah, 'til you die.'" "No! you're all kinda wrong, she's the commercial chick, but she's not in Suddenly Susan, but Talk Radio." In the end, we never drilled it down. When I got back that night, I told the yet-to-be Mrs. Jib about my brush with celeberity, and her response was, "I know you, and you get this stuff wrong all the time. You didn't meet anyone famous."

We have since become Kathy Griffin fans, even though Mrs. Jib still doesn't believe that I met-check that, saw-her on Michigan Avenue that morning. This confusion is apparently common for Griffin, and she does a great job of capitalizing on it in "D-list". Someone just jumping into the D-list might not 'get it'. If you are not familiar with Griffin, rent one of her stand up acts first. I guarantee you will get your money's worth. Then watch "D-list". You'll have an appreciation for it that might be difficult to gain without being familiar with Griffin's comedy.

Charlie Cray, anti-suburb, anti-fertilizer

Charlie Cray stops at the HuffPo to tell us that ChemLawn is bad, and to snidely call the suburbs unsafe.

More than 70 million pounds of pesticides are sprayed onto America’s 30 million acres of lawns each year by companies like ChemLawn, who've made the perfect lawn an icon more imporant than the white picket fence.

The rate of pesticides used on lawns is ten times greater (per acre) than the rate used on agricultural land. A lot of the ingredients cause cancer and other problems.

I'm not in the burbs but small town America. We in small towns can't afford ChemLawn and their fancy little "stay off the lawn" signs. So we go out and by our own bags of fertilizer. I myself stocked up on the Scotts this year. Now Scotts has a disclaimer on the package that tells you not to get it on your skin. So I didn't bob for apples in the bag, as I am want to do with fertilizer. No, instead I spread it on my lawn as directed. Later that afternoon, though, I was overcome by my feelings of absolute power over weeds, so I rolled around naked in the lawn. Let me tell you, that burned, but you know what? It was that burn that tells me it works. I was greatly comforted, knowing I would have a thick, lush green lawn free of weeds. Cancer? Shucks, that may be a possiblility, but I know good folks like Cray will find a way to excuse my irresponsible behavior and find a way to pin this on Scotts for me. Can you say big pay out?

Back temporarily, but not Baby Got Back

Mrs. Jib and I are lost in caustic Kathy Griffin goodness, but during this commercial break, we do have one public pronouncement to make: Baby Got Back should never, ever be used to sell back to school supplies. It's creepy and wrong. Bad Target, bad Target.

RIP Steven Vincent

Before this morning, I can't say that the name Steven Vincent would have rung any bells for me if someone mentioned him. When I read about his murder in Iraq, I didn't even think much of it. But as I worked through my headline list this morning, I slowly came to the realization that I had read and respected his work without ever really knowing his name. The Corner has been covering his story this morning, including some of his works in at National Review, as well as this piece that appeared in the Times just this weekend. Rest in peace, Steven Vicent.

Words of Wisdom, Victor Davis Hanson edition

VDH, an erudite historian himself, offers up this word of caution on all of the history being bantied about today:

History is evoked more and more these days, even as fewer of us read it.

That apathy explains why when public figures turn to false historical analogies for political purposes, they're often given a free pass to exaggerate or distort. Take, for example, filmmaker Michael Moore who once compared terrorists in Iraq to our own minutemen, or Yasser Arafat who implied that the taking of Jenin was as brutal as the battles for Leningrad and Stalingrad. Even Sen. Dick Durbin recently likened the conditions found in Guantanamo Bay to those in Nazi death camps.

So, the next time someone quotes philosopher George Santayana for the umpteenth time that 'Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it,' just assume that what follows will probably be wrong. Having a Rolodex of cocktail party quotes to beef-up an argument is not the same as the hard work of learning about the past." --Victor Davis Hanson

Well said by a well spoken historian. You can, of couse, trust the history you read here. I was President of my Future Historians of America club. Yes, I may have been my only member, but I still won a hard fought election.

The American Sheik

Sometimes you have to dig for the good news from Iraq, but when you find it, it is a gratifying read:

Sheik Horn floats around the room in white robe and headdress, exchanging pleasantries with dozens of village leaders.

But he's the only sheik with blond streaks in his mustache.

Officially, he's Army Staff Sgt. Dale L. Horn, but to residents of the 37 villages and towns that he patrols he's known as the American sheik.
...
He boasts that he helped funnel $136,000 worth of aid into the area. Part of that paid for delivery of clean water to 30 villages during the broiling summer months.

"They saw that we were interested in them, instead of just taking care of the bases," Horn said.

The Iraqis in the villages bestowed a large honor on Horn. The title of Sheik.

The indubitable Kim Jong-il

It looks like our close relationship with the world during the Clinton years paid some dividends. Kim Jong-il apparently graduated from Al Gore University with a BS in Self Aggrandizement:

North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong-il never forgets a phone number, a cadre's career or a line of computer code.

According to an article posted Tuesday on a Web site run by North Korea, Kim wakes up early every day for intensive memory training where he sits down and commits to his keen mind items such as the phone numbers of workers in his Stalinist state.
...
Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies and accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.

Let's just hope that he never feels the need to prove his prowess as a lover at the Democratic National Convention.