In hard hitting journalism that can only be found here at Jiblog, I have a public service announcement on the new Kraft squeezable bottles ("No Mess Top!"). Don't buy them. They are technically correct, they leave no mess on the bottle. But that's only because they leave a mess on your plate. The bottle requires some hefty squeezing, and when the substance leaves the bottle, it does so in a rough re-enactment of Mount St. Helens' eruption in the early 1980's. It is hilarious to watch someone else destroy their hot dog with a huge glob of mustard moving at mach 2. It is not so funny knowing that this bottle of mustard is going to last you roughly 2 years, and every time you use it you are going to ruin whatever delicacy you plan on devouring.
(This report was filed by Jiblog consumer reporter, Jib.)
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