Top Ten: Who is York?

Since outing York is about to become passe, I took a quick survey of my sources to capitalize on the buzz myself. Here are the top ten guesses on York’s real identity.

10. He’s that 13 year old wisenheimer that lives down the street from you. You know, the one who puts the flaming bags of dog poo on your step?

9. Dennis York is an anagram. His real name is Ned Skinroy.

8. Former Packer Gilbert Brown. Had your Gilbert burger lately?

7. York and Peg Lautenschlager have never been seen together. Coincidence? I think not.

6. He’s really Xoff’s crazy uncle Stanislaw.

5. York once saved a colleague from dangerous gamma rays by taking the full blast himself. Don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

4. York is really Ed Garvey. That rapscallion!

3. Wait just a second-did someone give those Thompson boys a computer and an internet connection again?

2. He is triple secret, super duper, undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame. Shh…you didn’t hear that from me.

1. Karl Rove