But the 72 virgins wouldn't have them...

Is it still considered martyrdom if, while in captivity, the Great Satan feeds you so well you have a massive heart attack?

A high-calorie diet combined with life in the cell block — almost around the clock in some cases — is making detainees at Guantanamo Bay fat.

Meals totaling a whopping 4,200 calories per day are brought to their cells, well above the 2,000 to 3,000 calories recommended for weight maintenance by U.S. government dietary guidelines.

And some inmates are eating everything on the menu.One detainee has almost doubled in weight, to 410 pounds, said Navy Cmdr. Robert Durand, spokesman for the detention facilities at Guantanamo, a U.S. Navy station in southeast Cuba.

410 pounds? What are they serving them, Gilbert Burgers? (Very tasty, by the way. I used to eat them 10 years and 40 pounds ago). Somebody sign that guy to play nose tackle.