The French butchery of language

There is this notion that French is a beautiful language. I don't really share that notion. I find the language, even when spoken in the native tongue, sounds like the speaker is both drunk and with a severely swollen tongue. So I should have known better today. I spoke with someone in Quebec. This person had a wonderful Polish last name. Despite the fact that I was calling Quebec, I brushed up on my Polish last names in an attempt to impress somebody, anybody, with a good pronunciation. I did well, I thought, until the person on the other end of the line, in a snotty French accent, corrected my pronunciation. It had been completely Francophied. I couldn't even understand it. If you want to hear gibberish, that's your recipe: Take a good Polish last name and translate it into French.