(JNN) Welter Air today announced a revolutionary new plan to help it cope with high fuel prices. Starting on November 26, 2008, the airline will remove passengers from its flights to reduce the weight of planes, saving untold billions.
In a statement to reporters, Welter CEO Walter Flounder said that this lean operation plan should also reduce crowding on planes and help the airline return to profitability by 2012.
"Many of our loyal customers may see this as a negative, but in reality we are offering an incredible customer service.
"No longer will our customers have to worry about long lines, delays, cancellations, or unpleasant, crowded flights."
The company is assuring customers that pre-paid, checked baggage will make it to their final destination most of the time. Those customers who must actually fly to their destinations will have the option of paying a $300 butt-in-seat fee to be transported to the flight's destination.
Other airlines are closely watching Welter's plan and most are expected to eventually follow suit. Industry experts are hailing the move as a customer service and profitability model that will forever change the airline business for the better.
(This post is satire)
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