A solution for Ikea

As some of you have probably read, Ikea found itself in between a politically correct rock and a hard place this week over the lack of women in their illustrated assembly instructions. For a small fee, I have a solution for Ikea that I guarantee will offend no one.

Notice the lack of distinguishing features. This is an androgynous, culturally bland, boring stickperson. It cannot even offend the Amish (no face) or people with disabilities (does it have one leg or two?). And it is at the peak of my drawing abilities, so Ikea, for a consulting contract, I'll update all of you manuals.

Update
I've been sent a cease and desist letter by the National Association of Green Stickpeople (NAGS). Apparently, this illustration may be found offensive by their members. Sorry Ikea.

Update II
Oh yeah, forgot something.

Beer