Thursday, January 06, 2005

California Dreamin'

I'm off to California later today. I'm going to piss off every libshit in site, and then maybe sip Cristal with Moxie. Okay, maybe I'll do the former. I plan to bring cigars and smoke them in public places, wearing an 'I love Jesus, but I voted for George W. Bush' t-shirt, flaunting my masculinity while taunting every feminazi in sight that their place is in the kitchen. Okay, again, maybe I'll do the most former item on that list.

Aw hell, who am I kidding. I'm going to spend my evenings dodging mudslides. Whenever I travel, I get button hooked by the weather (for the meaning of 'button hooked', please listen to "The Goat" by Adam Sandler). This week-plus looks to be no different than usual.

UPDATE

Good news! According to the U.S. Climate Prediction Center, everyone in America will share in my weather misery next week as a "once-in-a-generation" storm sweeps across the country. Sorry, but misery loves company.

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