After 'saving' an abandoned baby in Kenya, a local stray dog met with media today, expressing outrage over the meal that was stolen from her and her puppies.
"I go out every single day looking to feed my litter in this God forsaken country, and when I find a fresh feast for my family, people swoop and and take it from me. What's a bitch to do?"
News services from around the world have hailed the stray as a hero for lugging the 7 lb child through barbed wire and over a busy road to safety. The stray told media that someone owes her.
"Great, I'm famous now. Everyone wants to scratch my head. Petting doesn't fill the belly, folks. I damn well better get some snausages for this. That was my baby that was taken from me. I expect some compensation, here. I've had mange for a while. Some meds would be nice, too."
The stray, who still has not released her name to the public, also told a sad story of love lost.
"I met the father of my puppies in a back ally where we were both searching through a dumpster. He smelled my butt, I smelled his, and I just knew we would be together forever. After he knocked me up, he goes and runs off with a poodle. Now I'm stuck taking care of these little brats all by myself. It's all because the Bush administration in the United States isn't spending enough on doggy condoms in Africa."
Rob Reiner immediately issued a statement condemning the Bush administration for not promoting safe doggy style sex and urging the Bush Administration to give up it's efforts to promote abstinance in dogs through spaying and neutering. Reiner is recovering in a Cailfornia hospital after a first rate butt whooping from Bob Barker.
(This was satire. I shouldn't even have to tell you that.)
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