(UPI-Washington) President George W. Bush today announced a federal investigation into whether pressures from environmentalists and Not-In-My-Backyarders (NIMBYs) are partially responsible for high oil and gas prices.
In his announcement, the President referred to possible heavy handed pressure from environmentalists that has prevented domestic oil exploration off American shores and in Alaska. He also noted that it is rumored that many wealthy property owners support cheap oil, as long as it isn't looked for, produced, piped, or refined anywhere near their property, leaving 20 acres in Utah available for energy production.
Unnamed administration sources say that the investigation may expand to the Environmental Protection Agency, which may have conspired to drive up oil and gas costs through onerous regulation of oil production, refineries, and gas usage, unnecessarily restricting supply and adding costs to the price of oil and gasoline.
(What you have just read is a test of the emergency satire system. This was only a test.)
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