How to have your lunch ruined in 10 blocks

Against all of the logic my brain was providing me with today, I decided to hit McDonald's for lunch. I really try to talk myself out of McDonald's because I know that, even in moderation, I don't need to be putting that into my arteries. Today I was weak, though, and hit the drive-through. As I pulled out of the drive-through with my food, I took a right and ended up at a red light while traffic piled up behind me. Once the light turned green, the three cars immediately behind me turned right while I went straight. I normally wouldn't have noticed that if it weren't for the hearse that got bigger and bigger in my rear view. Seeing this as a bad omen, I set my double cheeseburger down and plotted out a winding way through town in an effort to lose the harbinger of death that was by now attached to my bumper. Nothing against the hearse or its driver, but I just wanted to peacefully enjoy the artery bomb that my brain had been trying to talk me out of. Unfortunately for me, my new route was apparently along the route this hearse needed to travel. Also unfortunately for me, I had so sufficiently fought back my brain's logic that I began to wonder if he knew something I did not, and I began to contemplate ditching my fast food and making a fast get away. It finally turned off after a while, but by then my meal was just about completely ruined. I also now have a perverse desire to run, an activity which, given my current lack of conditioning, will probably give me a heart attack sooner than that double cheeseburger.