Sunday, December 17, 2006

Ten reasons 2006 could be the year without Santa

10. Santa's reindeer having been gorging at the North Pole's new Taco Bell. EPA worried about emissions.
9. Santa has been treating himself to the Olive Garden after mall visits in Indiana. EPA worried about unlawful dumping in American chimneys.
8. The local Elves Union #1225 was on strike much of the year. Their demands? More sugar and better health benefits.
7. Santa is a Canadian citizen. As such, he's been waiting 8 months for a quadruple bypass.
6. Santa's new sleigh is subject to a recall by Toyota.
5. After Santa found elf briefs under the bed last Christmas, he doesn't want to let Mrs. Clause out of his sight.
4. Rudolph tore a hamstring while kicking a field goal during the filming of a Budweiser Super Bowl commerical. Will be out 4 to 6 weeks.
3. U.S. Congress concerned about outsourcing of U.S. toy production to North Pole. May slap punative tariffs on Santa to protect U.S. toy industry.
2. Santa is still waiting in line at a Best Buy Day after Thanksgiving sale.
1. Santa fears violence at many homes because even he couldn't get Playstation 3's this year.

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