Friday, December 09, 2005

Lethal Weapon Governor's Race

The Sydney Morning Herald is pushing Mel Gibson as a challenger to Arnold Schwarzenegger in the California Governor's race. Since California politics is the epitome of absurdity, I thought it would be fun to take a look at some possible matchups in the race.

Mel Gibson v. Danny Glover
First they were partners. Then they became friends. Now Riggs and Murtaugh are at each other throats for the state of California. Critical Question: Is Danny Glover too old for this shit?

Michael Keaton v. Val Kilmer
Kilmer failed as Keaton's replacement as Bruce Wayne, but Kilmer has a cult following for his Doc Holiday role in Tombstone. Would California dance with the devil in the pail moon light? They're a daisy if they do.

Bruce Willis v. Demi Moore
The winner gets the California Governor's mansion. And Ashton Kutcher. The loser in this race does get a consolation prize, though: Fez.

Mary Carey v. Mariah Carey
Can a no talent hack with big boobs pull off the upset in this race? The odds seem to be against Mariah vs. political veteran and race favorite Mary Carey.

OJ Simpson v. Robert Blake
Both run on the same platform. Vote for me or I will kill you. California voters would quickly become turned off by the cut throat campaign, boosting Phil Spector's third party candidacy.

Alex Trebek v. Pat Sajak
This would be an ugly campaign. Trebek would have all the answers, but nobody would know what the hell the questions were. Meanwhile, Sajak would campaign hard, but voters would have trouble filling in the blanks.

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