Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Global warming worse than first thought; actually solar system warming

World leaders were stunned Tuesday by the news that Mars' polar caps are melting. NASA's Mars Global Surveyor detected the changes via photographs of the red plant's surface.

Major environmental groups were beside themselves at the news.

"This just goes to show that our worst fears are being realized. Not only has man's intervention in the delicate earth ecosystem caused irreparable harm to our planet, but it is apparently the rest of the solar system as well," said Green Peace spokeswoman Jan Petrovoskin.

"We believe that instead of man causing global warming, he is actually causing solar system or even galaxial warming. While we cannot directly measure this, we believe increased storm intensity on Jupiter shows a clear trend."

Green Peace is expected to introduce a new save the solar system plan next week that will ban all carbon dioxide emissions, flatulent cows, space exploration of any type, and a quick, brutal extermination of the human species..

"After years of careful consideration, we've come to the conclusion that humans have too much of an adverse affect on the ecosystems we live in. The only way to stop this warming from spreading to the entire universe is the annihilation of mankind," said Petrovoskin.

Early indications are that British Prime Minister is eager to be the first world leader to sign onto the Green Peace initiative, provided that Green Peace assure him that it will not negatively impact future economic growth.

(This was the satire of an ill blogger)

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