Bush finally kowtows to UN wisdom

After receiving criticism from the United Nations, aid organizations, and NewJersey.com for not sending enough aid money to Tsunami ravaged areas of Asia, the Bush administration today agreed to further balloon the US deficit by providing a $35 billion aid package to the Asian nations.

"We have have heard the cries, and we realize that we were blatantly wrong in not promising scads of unsecured funding to Asia to cover all the costs of the tsunami," said Bush Press Secretary Scott Mclellan. "We are confident that throwing all of this money around will make the world love us. After all, that is the goal of the United States-to be the most popular nation in the global lunch room."

Kofi Annan thanked the United States for coming to its senses on Wednesday.

"This is clearly a small step in the right direction for the United States. This just goes to show that our emergency relief coordinator Jan Egeland was correct when he said politicians 'believe that they are burdening the taxpayers too much and that the taxpayers want to give less. That's not true. They want to give more'. Tax payers of all rich countries are very generous people who believe as we do that their money should be spent by government dictate."

Annan also offered this warning to the United States.

"I hope that the United States doesn't think that they can just throw money at the world's problems and walk away. Nothing makes the people of the world hate Americans more than their arrogant attitude that their riches can solve the world's problems. President Bush is going to have to come to the site of this disaster and apologize to the world, since this disaster is his fault. Had he signed on to the Kyoto agreement, we would not have global warming, and this tragedy can be clearly attributed to global warming."

Annan went on to praise the other nations of the world, as well as to announce UN plans for the tsunami ravaged region.

"I can't say enough for the generosity of the remaining nations of the world. We passed a hat around the UN offices and came up with 37 Euros. I'd like to remind stingy Americans that 37 Euros comes up to about 43 of your dollars. France alone scraped up 6 Euros. Norway, one of our most generous aid givers, agreed to raise taxes in 2005 to come up with their 8 Euro donation. China even offered to dispatch one of their armies to the region to help restore order under the Chinese flag. As for the UN, we will be organizing a US Aid for Food program, which will be headed by my son. I'm also looking at buying a new yacht sometime after we get the program set up."

Ted Kennedy (D-MA) commended the Bush administration for its new found generosity, and then criticized the administration for its runaway spending.

(The above was satire. Well, okay, maybe it was more blatant sarcasm. But its my site, I'll call it what I want.)