Wednesday, February 01, 2006


A few times a year I head over to eBay to see the latest auctions on Leinenkugel's memorabilia. After looking through the auctions and talking myself out of buying that $200 tin can, I browse around eBay to find the weird stuff people sell (and buy). Then I bring some of my odd discoveries to you. Today's edition eBay oddities has a theme: Poop. In the past I've really had to search to find some odd items, but little did I know that the search term poop was such a treasure chest of oddities.

First up in today's search is dinosaur poop. Yes, for a small sum you too can own your very own pile of petrified pterodactyl poo. If you're lucky, you'll find an auction with an amazingly well preserved sample like this, still in its original hershey kiss-like shape. One piece of poo not enough for you? You can buy it by the half-dozen if you like. As the sellers say, it's perfect for jewelry!

Speaking of crappy jewelry-who can consider their jewelry collection complete without a beautiful pair of moose poop earrings? Unlike the dinosaur poo jewelry mentioned above, this is not petrified, because apparently Maine moose nuggets are beautiful in their natural state. But don't worry, your beloved will not smell of moose poo because the nuggets have a nice polyurethane coating to seal the scent in. Ladies, if it turns out that moose droppings are your man's perfect aphrodisiac, don't dismay. You can buy original Alaskan moose poop soap and drive him wild.

As long as we're on the topic of love potion #2, let's not forget that Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Guys, don't get caught trying to find that perfect romantic gift at the last minute. You'll fail and be in the dog house like you are every year. This year get it done early and bid on Duncan's Valentine Tin. The seller will fill a beautiful Valentine tin with red confetti grass and a turd from his dog Duncan. Imagine the look on her face as she wonders which secret admirer sent her this anonymous treat, and imagine the satisfaction that you'll experience knowing you are that romantic lothario who sent her this little passion package.

Well, I'm pretty much pooped from doing all of this searching (and I'm already regretting this because of the search hits I'm going to get). Enjoy your shopping experience everyone.

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