LITTLE ROCK, AR -- James Carville, one of John Kerry's recently added advisors who is well-known for his role on Bill Clinton's political team and his eerie resemblance to Yoda, thwarted a republican scheme to "wire" President Bush in the first presidential debate a week and a half ago. According to Joe Lockhart, another Kerry advisor, Bush advisor Karl Rove had planned to feed Bush answers during the debate, via a secret transmitter hidden in Bush's jacket. A microscopic earpiece was then placed in Bush's left ear so he could take direction from Rove.
The plan backfired, however, when Yoda, I mean Carville, attacked Rove backstage and took over the controls. Carville proceeded to feed Bush ridiculous, repetitive statements, which lead to Bush's worst debate performance ever.
Karen Hughes, Bush's other key political advisor, has taken over debate preparations for the third and final debate this coming Wednesday in Tempe, Arizona, while Rove recovers from minor injuries suffered as a result of the Carville attack. Hughes said Team Bush will not take any chances this time. "We've had a chip placed inside the president's cerebral cortex," Hughes said. "I will be safe and sound at the Bush ranch in Crawford, transmitting messages to the president via computer. There is no chance for another backstage confrontation. This plan is fool-proof."
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